


I Want to Sleep in the Shadow of You

by Onlymystory



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/F, First Kisses, Prompt Fill, i love these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 06:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymystory/pseuds/Onlymystory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison didn’t really know what best friends meant. Now she does.<br/>Except…<br/>Allison doesn’t want to be Lydia’s best friend. That’s the other part of the awkwardness. She wants…well, Allison wants a lot of things that she can’t have.<br/>It’s…it’s a dream she gave up on somewhere in France. Lydia loved Jackson and Scott loved Allison and she’s been telling herself for months that whatever other things she wants will never happen. But now…</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want to Sleep in the Shadow of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> So NimblePhoenix wanted Allison/Lydia confessing their love for the first time. Hopefully this measures up, dear. 
> 
> Title from "Big Distraction" by No Doubt.  
> PS. Y'all can give me more Allydia prompts over on tumblr. (onlymystories.tumblr.com). I adore them.

Awkward. It’s the only way Allison can really think to describe the last few months. She knew it would be weird coming back after disappearing for the summer. Going to Europe was one of the best decisions she made. A clean break, a way to clear her head and deal with her grief and come to terms with the mistakes she made—and which ones she shouldn’t bear guilt over—was exactly what she needed.

Lydia visited often over those months, more as she and Jackson worked out their split, both being more mature about it in the past.

Allison stopped keeping secrets and lying to Lydia. In return, Lydia was more open and genuine than Allison had even known her friend could be.

She didn’t really know what best friends meant. Now she does.

Except…

Allison doesn’t want to be Lydia’s best friend. That’s the other part of the awkwardness. She wants…well, Allison wants a lot of things that she can’t have. So instead she smiles at Lydia’s conquests through the new semester and finds ways to prove to Derek that she’s not her family, that she thought she was justified in her actions even though she was being manipulated somewhat and that she doesn’t seek out ways to torment or taunt people.

It’s a conversation she isn’t meant to overhear that changes things.

Lydia and Allison are helping Stiles with research. Okay, technically Lydia and Stiles are researching wolfsbane and mountain ash compound blends. Allison’s there for moral support and to see if the results are weaponizable against the alpha pack.

But her dad calls and she slips downstairs to answer. The nice thing about having human friends is that privacy is no longer an illusion. When she finishes the conversation, she walks upstairs quietly, not wanting to disturb the others. The last time she was noisy, Stiles ended up turning his and Lydia’s hair purple for a week. The pictures are hilarious. Lydia’s mood was not.

Stiles has his lecturing tone going. Allison can hear him from the hall.

“Lydia, what are you doing with all these boys?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the distractions,” says Stiles and Allison can practically hear the air quotes. She hesitates outside the door. “The revolving door of high school man meat that is your bedroom most weekends.”

Lydia answers in a very steely voice, the kind that brings people to their knees in front of her, begging for mercy. “Surely you aren’t implying anything by the number of people I choose to sleep with, Stiles.”

Stiles sighs. “Yeah, because I have a death wish. I’m implying something about _who_ you choose to sleep with, not how much.”

“Jackson’s gone, Stiles. He’s not coming back either,” returns Lydia primly.

“I’m not talking about Jackson.”

“Then I have no idea what you’re referring to.”

“You’re deflecting.” The sound of Stiles’ chair squeaks across the floor. Allison can just see through the crack that he’s moved over in front of Lydia. “You aren’t trying to distract yourself from Jackson.”

Allison can only see Lydia’s left hand, but it’s clenched tightly around Stiles’ wrist. “Don’t,” hisses Lydia.

Allison thinks she should interrupt. Stiles needs to learn when to stop pushing. She takes a step forward, hand reaching out to push the door open, when the next words stop her in her tracks.

“You need to tell her Lyds. The truth.”

“No.”

“Lyds…”

Lydia’s voice cracks the slightest bit and Allison has to strain to hear her response. “She loves Scott. Not me. Not like that. Just drop it, Stiles. Please.”

Stiles agrees and Allison slips down the stairs while the two are distracted. She manages to get back to the living room before she collapses into the closest chair. Lydia likes her? Maybe more than likes. It’s…it’s a dream she gave up on somewhere in France. Lydia loved Jackson and Scott loved Allison and she’s been telling herself for months that whatever other things she wants will never happen. But now…

When Allison can breathe again, she yells up the stairs with a warning. “You guys want anything to drink?”

Requests are called back out and they’re back in full research mode once she enters the room.

She decides to hell with denial and repression when she’s driving Lydia home.

“Scott and I aren’t getting back together.”

“Okay,” Lydia draws out the word. “That seems sudden.”

Allison shrugs, her gaze focuses on the road. “Not really. We actually decided right after Derek found Cora. Scott had a harder time with it but we both agreed that we aren’t the same people anymore.”

“You never said anything.”

“It didn’t come up.”

“Didn’t come up? Allison, I’m your best friend.”

“I…,” begins Allison, not really sure what to say next.

Lydia stares out the window, her voice quiet. “Do you not trust me? Just because I’m not wanting a boyfriend doesn’t mean I wouldn’t understand if you still did.”

Allison pulls the car over in a hurry. Damn it. She’s messing this up. “I don’t want a boyfriend,” she says firmly, turning towards Lydia for the first time since she eavesdropped on the earlier conversation.

“A distraction?” questions Lydia. “I can help with that. I’ve been trying to get you to go on double dates with me for weeks, Ally. If you wanted a distraction, all you had to do was say so.”

“You’re my distraction!” blurts Allison.

Lydia gapes at her. “What?”

“You’re everywhere. You’re at my house and at school and you were in France and there for me through all the shit that gets thrown at me.” Allison’s basically word vomiting at this point and she has no idea how to stop. “I hate the way you model every potential date outfit in front of me because all I want to do is touch you. I could be gentle and soft, the way you deserve, not the way any of those guys are. You’re my rock, Lydia. I’ve been doing everything in my power to tell myself I have to quit falling in love with you but then you’re here and I forget all over again.”

“You love me?” asks Lydia in a tiny voice.

Allison nods.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to lose your friendship.”

Lydia’s eyes spark. “First of all, you could never lose me. No matter what. Second,” she pauses, then leans forward and lightly brushes her lips against Allison’s. “I was trying to distract myself from loving you.”

Allison can barely breathe. She touches her fingers to her lips as though she can hold the feel of Lydia there. “I love you,” she says. Maybe if she puts it out there a few more times it’ll sound real. “I love you.”

Lydia weaves her fingers together with Allison’s. “I love you too.”

That allows Allison to move again. She surges forward, capturing Lydia’s lips in a kiss. Lydia tastes like ginger tea and blackberries and the anticipation of a summer storm.

It’s the kind of distraction she could get lost in forever.


End file.
